One of the first things I remember Lesley saying to me when I first met her, was the simplest of phrases …. ‘you can do that’ it became my mantra in life; Lesley, you were an inspiration to me and to so many of us here.
If there were things you felt important you had a way of driving ideas forward. Along the way, those of us around you would pick up your enthusiasm like an infection, then we’d gain confidence in the idea as if it were our own. Everything you suggested always made sound sense. You were decisive and competent, traits which evoked inspiration in those of us lucky enough to have you in our lives.
Having had two boys of the same age, you and I talked often about what we hoped for our children. You told me about the sacrifices your mum had made to give you the best possible start in life. With that experience and support behind you, yourself and Graham have indeed raised two very special people in Jeremy and Edward. You have ensured that they’ve grown to become these two fine teenagers here. You were fit to burst with pride in their achievements and interests. With the foundation of love and care that you, Graham, Norah have given them, they will ultimately develop into great young men.
In the last weeks of your illness, you were very clear that this, your major role in life had been fulfilled. We as friends and family need now to help them to adapt to the tragedy of losing you far too soon. A tough challenge indeed, but they will grow strong enough to manage it.
In your final weeks and days, you acknowledged that you had no regrets; you had no wish to do anything you hadn’t already done, nor live any other way than in the way you had lived. One of the last things you said…. over and over was
“it’s sorted,…. all sorted,…. everything’s sorted”
You told those close to you “I’ve no worries, I’m not scared.”
You died as you had lived with great love around you; your only wish was to see your boys into university and adulthood. You know that we who must now live without you, will do what we can to ensure your “list” is complied with. I can imagine that the majority of us here today have at one time or another been the recipient of one of Lesley’s lists!!!!!
You taught each of us to find our own clarity and to make decisions with self- assuredness, plus the odd strong hint if you thought we were misguided. We know with conviction, that whatever path each of us choose from this point on; whichever item we tick off the metaphorical list you left us, or things we do not have the courage or the will to get round to, you would accept and understand us unconditionally in our choices.
Your generosity of spirit was so abundant that you had more than enough to spare so that you could be to us the most fabulous mother, daughter, wife and friend that anyone could have.
You were my friend and my mentor and without you, I for one would have lived a very different life.
Whatever any of us did or didn’t say to, or do for Lesley in her final years, months and days; nobody here must have one second of regret. She showed us so clearly that she’d done what she needed to do in this life; which means that each and every one of us played a part in that.
We, like her, need regret nothing other that the fact that we have to endure a life without her.
But I can imagine her voice suddenly getting strong again in my head. To use Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s words:
“Dear friends, do not look sad, for what can be happier than a life completed with honour, and made beautiful with friendship and love.”
But my dear Lesley, “Grief is the price we pay for love”, so we will just have to endure it; and we will.
Now we’ll listen to a traditional hymn that Lesley herself suggested for this day (yes it was on her list). In it we hear of gentleness, bravery, hope, and of at last being set free.
The hymn
When a knight won his spurs in the stories of old
He was gentle and brave he was gallant and bold
With a shield on his arm and a lance in his hand
For God and for valour he rode through the land
No charger have I and no sword by my side
Yet still to adventure and battle I ride
Though back into storyland giants have fled
And the knights are no more and the dragons are dead
So let faith be my shield and let hope be my steed
Against the dragons of anger the ogres of greed
And let me set free with the sword of my youth
From the castle of darkness the power of the truth
Traditional